I don’t care that i’m being fucking pathetic. You left me with ridiculous reasons and you abandoned me in the dark. You know the shadows in my head and you still left. You said awful things to me and cut me deep. I had just started to heal when I met you, and you tore me apart. Fuck. I don’t even know what i’m saying anymore. I just want a drink. or to cry. or to self harm. Or do ANYTHING to make this pain go away. I just want it to stop. I just want it all to stop. It won’t stop though. It’ll keep going and i’ll keep getting hurt until there’s nothing left to hurt. It’s not fucking fair but these are the cards I’ve been dealt.
You were my best fucking friend. But you expect me to just go from loving you to just friends? LIke it’s that easy? it’s not. It’s really fucking not and that’s not okay. Then you go and meet someone and I get destroyed. Because that’s what always happens. If one of two people loves the other, you cannot just be friends. It’ll never work. Fuck you and your bullshit.
You told me that I ignored what you said months ago and that I “kept coming”. I didn’t see you kicking me out of bed. I didn’t see you correcting people when they called me your girlfriend. So how is that all my fucking fault that I was lead on? Fucking excuse me? At any time you could have said “hey, stop” but you fucking DIDN’T. You lead me on and it’s not fair and I should have seen it from the beginning.
I’m used to taking the blame for things but being lead on for SEVEN FUCKING MONTHS IS NOT MY FAULT.
just by the change
of tone in your
be with someone
who loves the
you hate the most
fall in love with
looks at you and
knows they don’t
want anyone else
I said I love you.
You said you don’t love me. My heart is gone. I’ll survive, but right now, I need to grieve.
They look so perfect standing there
on the VMAs carpet with their perfect hair
and I know now
that I’m so proud